Sought After

And you will be called Sought After, a City Not Forsaken…

Archive for the ‘The Hard Stuff’ Category

Wait…Sacrifice is supposed to be HARD?!

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When I quit my job to go on the World Race, people complimented my willingness to sacrifice.  When I lived in a tent or slept on floors for the better part of a year, I was praised for my eagerness to surrender.  But here’s the secret…that was the easy part…Walking away from a 9-5 sit-at-my-desk job was more of a joy than a sacrifice.  Living in a tent in the African bush was more adventure than surrender.  Not that it didn’t have its challenges or require faith, but those are the challenges I prefer and the type of faith I enjoy building.

Homesickness was never an issue; being immersed in a new country, new culture and new language every four weeks doesn’t really leave much time for dreaming of home.

But now I find myself five months into an indefinite commitment to a country and a people not my own.  I love Cambodia, but it’s not all elephants and fried tarantulas.

This Christmas was not my first away from home, but it was my first in a hot climate.  It was my first Christmas morning waking up alone.  It was my first Christmas spent with people (awesome people) with whom my longest relationship was four months.  This year I missed my brother’s home-coming from a 12-month deployment in Kuwait, two of my best friend’s visits to West Virginia and another best friend’s daughter’s first Christmas.

I knew being a “missionary” would not be easy.  I was prepared for the work to be hard, the air to be humid and the culture to be strange.  What I was not prepared for was realizing that giving things up is hard.  Dealing with false guilt (self-imposed guilt, to be sure) over where I should be spending Christmas is hard.   I finally realized that in choosing to be here I have chosen not to be home, among people I love.

It seems to be a self-evident concept: sacrifice is hard.

I know now that in choosing missionary-ness, I am choosing sacrifice.  Small as it is compared to what others have or are giving up , it is sacrifice all the same.

As I am learning this I pray that I will fall so far in love with Jesus that He truly satisfies not only all my needs, but all my wants. When you pray for me, ask God to so captivate my heart that everything else disappears.  I am convinced that this, above all else, will empower me to serve Him and love His people.


Written by stephndavis

January 14, 2011 at 6:29 am